The Dualistic Thinking of Ennagram NUMBER ONE

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how dualistic thinking can keep us trapped in our patterned ways of thinking. Releasing the Hold of Dualistic Thinking with Courage, Truth and Love.

When we look at our world as “this or that” we do not get to experience all the richness it has to offer, and we also close ourselves off to our own inner growth. 

How can those things that seem so different from my perceived norm help me grow? How can something that I have closed off to actually help me be a more open person? If we are not experiencing the “lows” along with the “highs” we are just living in half the stream of life.

My Enneagram Pattern has its own way of closing off

Each of the spaces of the enneagram has their own set of dualistic behaviors that keep us from finding an inner calm.  The calm comes when a third force is brought into our dualistic two-pronged approach to living.  This third force acts as a “midpoint” between the two dualistic thoughts or ways of living. We can also call them polarities.  This third force is new and fresh and causes us to pause.

Enneagram Pattern ONE

Number ONE gets caught in the dualistic polarities of RIGIDITY and SENTIMENTALITY. 

RIGIDITY– An inability to bend

Living life armored-up and hard as stone will definitely keep a person from being hurt, but it closes oneself off to feeling the fullness of one’s sensitivity. The ONE is the most sensitive of all the numbers. Just ask the ONEs in your life about the itchy tags on shirts or wet socks. ONEs can find refuge from the incredible sensitivity by shielding themselves from experiencing the pain of life. The rigidity can be a great gift while keeping order in the world, but holding too tightly to it closes the ONE off from the flow of life. In doing so also cuts them off from fun.

SENTIMENTALITY– Exaggerated and self-indulgent tenderness, sadness, or nostalgia

There is an emotional side to ONEs. If a ONE opens enough to what life has to offer they can be overrun by emotions, excitement and passion.  Touching emotions is a necessary part of living. Emotions are part of life that ONEs must befriend. When a ONE polarizes to sentimentality there is a dismissing of all order. A sense of “poor me” enters the scene and it affects everyone in the room. Everyone gets to take part in the melodrama.

Now remember, both these parts of the ONE are important. Structure and strength are key gifts of the ONE as well as the gift of being sensitive to the subtleties of the world. But, holding too tightly to either gift creates a polarization and overvaluing of RIGIDITY or SENTIMENTALITY. 

Caught up in the Jealousies

Luckily, there is a “tell” that lets the ONE know he or she is stuck. This “tell” is something we call the “Jealousies”. These are the demons that come along and make the ONE feel he or she is entitled to things. These little Jealousies feel like a woodpecker in your brain telling you how you have been so “good” improving the world and keeping order while others have been enjoying life, meeting new people and having fun. You react, but it is not anger, it is cold jealousy. 

The Jealousies are your clue to help you see where you have polarized. You can now choose to pause and see how tightly you are holding to “your way” or you can see how you have given yourself away in your emotional over-reacting.  The jealousies are to be taken very seriously. 

Finding my True Intuition

These jealousies help you realize you are stuck and you have a choice to open to other possible ways of living.  “Maybe I can make time for some fun” or “ am I perhaps over-reacting.” In taking time to slow down and pay attention to my reactions, I can choose to act in a different way. And when I do hold these two forces in equal value they are indeed great gifts. 

The result of holding both polarities equally, helps me see the gift of valuing the polarities. It is called “INTUITION”.  This intuition is a new way of seeing into the sensing world. This feels like a resting into your reality, not only what your body tells you, but also what Soul has to say. There is a knowing that all will be well. 

The ONE needs a third force to come into play to help balance the two different polarities of RIGIDITY and SENTIMENTALITY We do not, wish not, and cannot, completely give up on one of these two forces.  We actually want to open ourselves enough to take a second look at what we have turned our backs on. Ultimately helping us grow our awareness of how we move in the world and how we love ourselves.

Paying attention to where we polarize helps us see the fullness of our lives? All of life is to be lived. 

Dale Bially - Inspired Enneagram