Where are all the men?

Where are all the men? 

 
For a long time I have attended enneagram groups and am often asked “where are all the men?”.  Please know that men do attend these groups, but in much smaller numbers than women.  
 
Over the years I have been supported by variety of men’s groups and read many books on men’s studies, But recently I have been reading a book called Men’s Work. The author, Connor Beaton, shares honest insights on his life and the feeling of isolation that he says is inherent in the culture of men today. 
 
“We as men, detach ourselves from anything that could possibly be perceived as weak, defective or lead to defeat. This cuts us off from the experiences we require to develop deep trust in our ability to face the fullness of life.“
 
I know in my own life, I have resisted meeting the hurts of life and by not feeling these hurts, I have met many of my relationships with unsympathetic callousness.  I have come to believe that this callousness gives me a sense of strength and victory, but actually, it just closes down the potential for heart-felt exchange and the love that I desire.  
 
Beaton speaks of how important it is for men to find groups of other men where they can be themselves in an atmosphere of honesty and non-judgment. The kind of group that holds you accountable to the change that you say you want to create. 
 
For all these reasons, my friend Ama Mann and I are leading a new men’s group that will meet monthly calledCreative Expression: A Work Group for Men.  During our time together we will work to become more aware of how we move in the world as men. Not only through teachings and conversation, but also by moving our bodies using Aikido practices. 
 
Robert Bly, author of the book Iron John, a must read for any man, has said “Where a man’s wound is, that is where his genius will be”.   
 
No matter who you are, you will find your true self, not just by living the joy of life, but also by living and meeting your woundedness. 

Dale
Inspired Enneagram